I’m going to try a little experiment which may become a regular feature on my blog if it is successful enough and I can continue to amass the material. The aim is to bring two actors together in conversation using only dialogue from characters that they have played.

The two actors I’ve chosen to get this little experiment going have actually already shared the screen together. We were first treated to this with the coffee shop scene in Heat. That’s right, it’s the legendary Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino engaging in a little fighting talk…

(Warning: if you are sensitive of ear and easily offended then don’t read on as this conversation will contain quite a lot of profanities.)

DeNiro: You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?…

Pacino: You know what? Fuck you! How about that?

DeNiro: It’s not necessary to lay a foul tongue on me my friend. I could get upset. Things could get out of hand. Then in self defense, I could do something to you that you would not like, right here.

Pacino: Oh what a big man you are! Hey, let me buy you a pack of gum. I’ll show you how to chew it.

DeNiro: I fuck you right where you breathe, because I don’t give two shits about you or nobody else.

Pacino: You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!

DeNiro: … if you make one more move on me, you motherfucker, I’ll fuckin’ cut your fuckin’ balls off and shove ‘em up your fuckin’ ass. I’ll fuckin’ bury you! I’m gonna stick ice picks in your eyes and send ‘em to your family so they can eat them for dessert!

Pacino: Why don’t you try stickin’ your head up your ass? See if it fits.

DeNiro: You wanna play games? All right, I’ll play your fucking games.

Pacino: Who the fuck are you?… What, you think you like me? You ain’t like me motherfucker, you a punk. I’ve been with made people, connected people. Who’ve you been with? Chain snatching, jive-ass, maricon motherfuckers. Why don’t you get out of here and go snatch a purse.

DeNiro: I ain’t no white trash piece of shit. I’m better than you… I can out-learn you. I can out-read you. I can out-think you. And I can out-philosophize you. And I’m gonna outlast you. You think a couple whacks to my guts is gonna get me down? It’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than that… to prove you’re better than me!

Pacino: You think you’re big time? You gonna fuckin’ die – big time.

DeNiro: What is the fuckin’ matter with you? What – what is the fuckin matter with you? What are you, stupid or what?

Pacino: …All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one. Do you understand?

DeNiro: I can feel the juices rushing back to my balls as we speak.

Pacino: Whoo-aah.

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51 Responses to “LET’S HAVE A SIT DOWN! #1”

  1. Very entertaining, hope you’ll do more of them! The whoo-aah at the end immediately makes me think of the Hollywood Babble-on podcast

  2. This may be the awesomest post ever. LOL

    The fun part is playing “Name that movie” with quotes that are essentially 90% profanity. LOL

    GREAT idea. I had a lot of fun reading it. :D

    • Lol. Thanks Fogs! I had a lot of fun doing it. I was tempted to keep going but it was getting harder as I went on. It was just an experiment to see it could be coherent and I think it is. I’ll think of some more for the future. Cheers!

  3. Awesome. I imagine it took quite a bit of time and effort to put this together. You must have a fantastic memory for lines to know where to find them!

    • Thanks Jessica. If truth be told, some where from memory and others came from the IMDB. Its sometimes a useful and handy little tool to have at your disposal.

  4. Hahaha amazing! PLEASE let this be a regular feature

    • Haha. Cheers Andy. I would love it to continue but the problem I’ll eventually face is the dialogue drying up and it’ll be difficult to have two actors sit down and discuss a particular topic. For example, DeNiro and Pacino would find it difficult to have a philosophical discussion or anything that didn’t contain profanity. I’ll have a think on what actors could be suited together for another though.

  5. HAHAH Very very funny, although I reckon you are making a rod for your own back with this feature. In that I bet it is a fricker to get going.

    I wish I had thought of it!! :-)

    • Cheers Scott. Glad you enjoyed it. I think you’re right. As Fogs said to me on twitter, this one will be hard to beat. I’ve a couple of other actors in mind but with with Pacino and DeNiro playing so many well known characters, it’ll be harder for anyone to compete. Nicholson gets a lot of good lines though, so he’s a definite for the next one.

  6. I’m expecting you to do a Stallone/Schwarzenegger one! ;)

    • Nice suggestion man. I’ll keep that in mind. The next one is definitely Nicholson, as I’ve already got some material but I will look into that.

  7. Great idea, though I appreciate the warning about profanity, I’m a bit sensitive on that front. Still it’s entertaining, Mark, I hope you do more of these! Maybe do one with two Scottish actors in the future? You know what I’m getting at :D

    • Cheers Ruth. You were one of the people I had in mind when I put the profanity warning in ;-) I realise that’s not too everyone’s tastes. It is going to be a lot harder to do more but you never know, a Butler/McAvoy sit down may happen in the future.

      • Awesome!! I know it’s funny that I have sensitive ear in regards to foul language but yet I LOVE the Scots. Butler almost always swear in interviews, much to the dismay of his mum (by his own admittance). Are you gonna do the female version of this ‘sit down’ conversation too? :D

      • Swearing is a big part of the Scottish language. For most people hear it’s every other word. Lol.
        I’m working on another just now (that’s also quite profane) but it’s time consuming. Unfortunately, no female one yet but I do have at least one actress in mind for a future one. I just need to find her a suitable partner. Watch this space.

  8. Brilliant Mark, a bit of a departure for you but a fantastic idea, i love it. I will look forward to the next instalment. Do a superhero one perhaps. Bales batman v Downey’s Iron Man.

    • Cheers man! It is a bit of a departure but I thought I’d like to add a little something different, other than reviews. I’ve been doing a bit of further research and I have to admit, it’s really hard. The dialogue isn’t as juicy as DeNiro and Pacino’s. Another one, may take some time.

      • Perhaps do it weekly, i dunno may become a regular feature in the blogging world. DeNiro and Pacino’s chat is certainly juicy!

      • I’d love it to become a regular feature but weekly might be a bit of a push. It is quite time consuming. For now, I’m just working it all out and trying to match up people. I’ve been told I may never better this one and I think I agree. Shit! Lol.

  9. Very cool man! It’s definitely going to be hard to top this one but there are definitely some great characters out there that I’d love to see have a conversation with each other!

    • Thanks man. It will indeed be hard to top but as you say, I’m going to concentrate on iconic characters and actors and try and come up with more. Even if they’re not as good, it’ll still be fun to assemble.

  10. Hilarious. I don’t know half the movies, but the quotes flow together very well into one profanity-laden conversation.

    • Glad you enjoyed it Morgan. In some ways, this was the scene I’d like to have seen between DeNiro and Pacino when they shared their first time onscreen. Heat’s ending would have been all the more intense for it. Lol.

  11. Whoa, that is a LOT of profanity. But impressive. Would you mind telling me which film each line’s from? I know the first one with De Niro is from Taxi Driver (1976), which I haven’t seen, but that line’s so famous I’d be surprised if there’s a film fan on this Earth who doesn’t recognize it. After that line, I didn’t recognize any.

  12. [...] together quotes from their various movies into one profanity-laden argument, in the debut of his Let’s Have a Sit Down feature. Very well done, and very [...]

  13. Haha, this is genius! Love it! Hope the feature stays :)

  14. Chris Walker Says:

    Mark, that was bloody hilarious, good job. That was very entertaining to read.

  15. Haha this is pretty awesome! Glad I happened to stumble upon your blog (from Flixchatter, I think). Would love to see a sequel to this. :D

    • Thanks for stopping by Eric. Yeah, I’m hoping to continue these “sit down’s”. I’m working on another just now. Should be finished within the week.

  16. sanclementejedi Says:

    You had me at “quite a lot of profanities” I like the idea of this feature, also the first time I have seen someone do something quite like this. I give this feature a big fuck yeah!

    • Show me the profanities! Lol. Cheers Adam. I’ve got another that just requires some editing. It might not be as well recieved but further feedback will be required.

  17. This is awesome! Very original.

  18. Excellent work here, sir!

    • Thanks man. This was the experimental one just see if it would work. Folks seemed to like it so I ventured on to do more elaborate ones. I may go back one day and flesh out a more substantial DeNiro and Pacino one though.

  19. [...] beforehand as a lot of profanity is included.  Episode#1 – Robert DeNiro & Al Pacino. http://mrmarakai.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/lets-have-a-sit-down-1/ Episode#2 – Jack Nicholson & Samuel L. Jackson. [...]

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